I thought my job was to make money and provide for a family. I feel it in my DNA, like I've been biologically engineered to do this.

But life's put me in a different position. My wife and I work a business together, so I'm not the sole provider. We don't have kids yet, so there's not really anyone to provide for.

Okay, so maybe my job is just to lead. I'll be the captain of the ship, providing wisdom and guidance as we sail through dangerous seas.

But I don't have any captain experience. In fact, my wife has more business experience than me. Whenever I lead, I'm just making things up on the fly and calling my untested instincts "leadership." I've led us into more storms than I've gotten us out of them.

Okay well, if I'm not a provider or leader, what do I do?

As frustrating as it feels, maybe my job right now is to hold my wife tight, supporting her as we venture into stormy waters, telling her everything's going to be alright even as I feel the ship starting to sink…

…but the ship isn't sinking. We're okay. Things are working out for us, with or without my help.

Maybe the problem isn't that I don't know what my job is. I'm expecting my job to give me purpose and pride. When I say I'm passionate and driven, I might just be seeking a sense of self. My work isn't just about making money. It's how I've shown my worth, even though no one is judging.

People tell me I have such a cool job. I say thank you, it's very fulfilling. But as we continue chatting, I feel something missing. Was that it? Was that everything I've been breaking my back over to achieve?

I feel my brain frantically rewiring itself to adjust to this new reality. You DIDN'T have to work so hard for people to love you. Okay, that's great. But I don't know what to DO now. I guess I just do my job without the pressure of justifying my existence. That seems much less stressful.